Let’s begin with a universal truth: when you feel bad, your brain becomes a raccoon rummaging through a garbage can at 2am — chaotic, dramatic, and deeply committed to questionable decisions. Feeling bad rarely inspires bold action, deep insight, or meaningful life change. No. Feeling bad inspires scrolling. And snacks. And the kind of existential dread that arrives wearing fuzzy slippers.
But despite this, despite the powerful gravitational pull of your couch and your hoodie and the bag of chips whispering your name like carbs of destiny… you do not actually have to get stuck in a rut.
I know. Shocking.
You can, in fact, unstick yourself — even when your mood is functioning at the emotional equivalent of “software update required.”
And no, you don’t need to reinvent your life, adopt a new personality, or take up forest bathing while chanting to moss. The world is confusing enough already.
Let’s talk about how to crawl out of the emotional pothole you’ve fallen into — with humor, realism, and absolutely no judgment. (Okay, a little judgment. But the helpful kind.)
1. Step One: Admit That You Are, In Fact, In a Rut
Here’s the thing about ruts: they’re sneaky. You don’t wake up one morning and say, “Ah yes, I will now begin the next chapter of my life: The Era of Meh.”
No. A rut sets in slowly.
It starts with:
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A bad week that becomes a bad month.
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One missed workout that becomes “Well, maybe my destiny is immobility.”
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One night of takeout that becomes an unspoken long-term relationship with your delivery driver.
Suddenly you’re 17 episodes deep into a show you don’t even like, sitting in the dark eating cereal at 11pm like a gremlin with health insurance.
But here’s the first secret nobody tells you: feeling bad doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It means you’re human.
Your brain has moods. Your life has seasons. Your energy has… whatever the emotional equivalent of a weather forecast is. Sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, sometimes “severe storms possible, take cover.”
A rut isn’t a moral failing. It’s a signal. And you can answer it anytime.
2. Step Two: Stop Letting Your Feelings Drive the Car (They Don’t Even Have a License)
Your feelings are important. Your feelings matter. Your feelings should be honored.
But your feelings should absolutely not be in the driver’s seat, because they have the navigational skills of a toddler holding a steering wheel in a shopping cart seat.
When you feel bad, your brain offers opinions like:
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“We should stay in bed forever.”
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“Let’s overthink everything from the past 10 years.”
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“I bet we’re failing at life. Let’s explore that.”
None of these ideas are helpful. They’re just noise. Emotional static. Your brain trying to improvise when it should be sitting quietly with its juice box.
A rut begins when you mistake a mood for a mandate.
It ends when you stop treating your emotions like facts.
Feeling unmotivated does not mean you can’t start.
Feeling sad does not mean you are powerless.
Feeling overwhelmed does not mean you need to throw your entire life into the sea.
Your feelings can sit in the back seat. Your choices drive.
3. Step Three: Do One Small Thing (And I Mean Really Small)
Let’s debunk the myth that escaping a rut requires a massive life overhaul. No. That’s how you create debt and trauma and gym memberships you will never use.
Real change begins with something so small your brain cannot panic about it.
Examples:
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Wash one dish. Not the whole sink. One.
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Open the window for three minutes and let fresh air slap you in the face.
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Change your shirt even if the rest of you still looks like a raccoon who hasn’t slept.
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Drink water like you’re a plant that keeps forgetting it’s alive.
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Walk outside long enough to realize the world still exists.
These little actions don’t “fix” you. They remind you that you can begin.
Once you begin, the rut loses its grip.
But here’s the trick: the smaller the action, the more powerful the momentum.
You don’t need to become a different person.
You just need to prove to yourself that Still-Functioning You is alive and well beneath the mood sludge.
4. Step Four: Break the Rut With Novelty (Not Chaos)
When people feel stuck, they often fantasize about dramatic solutions:
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“I’ll quit my job!”
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“I’ll move to another city!”
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“I’ll shave my head and join a pottery commune!”
Relax. You don’t need a plot twist. You need a pattern interrupt.
Tiny, harmless novelty is one of the most effective ways to trick your brain out of a rut. Our brains love newness. Not life-upending newness — just enough novelty to wake up the sleepy circuits.
Examples:
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Take a different walking route.
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Rearrange one corner of your room.
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Add a new ingredient to something you cook.
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Listen to music from a genre you’d normally ignore.
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Sit somewhere different when you drink your morning coffee.
These tiny disruptions send a message:
“Hey brain, we’re alive. Pay attention.”
Even buying a new soap scent can jumpstart your mood. Seriously. Aromatic chaos is still chaos.
5. Step Five: Stop Treating Self-Care Like It Requires a Spa Membership
Somewhere along the way, we were sold the lie that “self-care” means candles that cost as much as a utility bill, bath bombs that stain your tub, and face masks that make you look like a haunted zucchini.
Real self-care is boring. Quiet. Free or cheap. And very un-Instagrammable.
Examples of actual self-care:
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Going to bed before your phone accuses you of being irresponsible.
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Eating a meal that didn’t come from a drive-thru window.
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Taking your meds on time.
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Drinking water before you become a raisin with opinions.
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Cleaning one corner of your environment so your brain stops screaming.
Self-care is not pampering — it is maintenance. You maintain your car. You maintain your teeth. You maintain your Netflix subscription.
You can maintain yourself, too.
6. Step Six: Stop Waiting to “Feel Motivated” (That Ship Has Sailed)
If you’re waiting to feel motivated before you start doing things, let me gently inform you: you will be waiting forever.
Motivation is fickle. It disappears when you need it most. It’s the emotional equivalent of that friend who says, “We should totally hang out!” but never commits to a date.
Energy comes after action, not before.
This is backwards from what we expect, but it’s how the human body works:
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Move a little → feel a little better.
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Do a small task → brain gives you a tiny gold star.
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Keep going → surprise! You’re functioning again.
Don’t sit there trying to manifest motivation like a wizard conjuring a spell.
Just do the smallest possible next thing.
Your brain will catch up.
7. Step Seven: Tell Someone You Feel Bad (Preferably Not Your Ex)
You don’t need to deliver a dramatic TED Talk about your emotional landscape. You can tell someone:
“I’m in a rut.”
This phrase is basically the adult version of “boo-boo, help.”
People get it. They’ve been there. They know ruts. They have rutted. They have emerged from the rut and then fallen back into the rut six months later. It’s part of the human cycle.
Reach out to:
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A friend
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A sibling
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A coworker who tolerates you
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A person who sends you memes
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Your group chat that has been suspiciously quiet lately
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Literally anyone except the ex who would take this as a sign to restart the talking stage
Humans regulate better with other humans. You’re not meant to bootstrap your way out of emotional mud alone. Let somebody throw you a rope.
Even better: let someone distract you with stories, errands, nonsense, memes, gossip, or a walk around the block to talk trash about other people’s landscaping choices.
8. Step Eight: Lower the Bar So Low It's Underground
You know why people get stuck? Because they create goals like:
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“I will overhaul my life.”
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“I will become healthy in every way.”
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“I will fix everything by Tuesday.”
No you won’t.
And you don’t need to.
Ruts persist because the bar is too high.
Get out of the rut by lowering the bar until you trip over it on your way to the fridge.
Lower the bar to:
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“I will shower today.”
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“I will put on clean socks.”
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“I will respond to one message.”
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“I will step outside even if I immediately come back.”
Victory is built on the foundation of tiny, stupid, easy wins.
Embrace them. They count.
9. Step Nine: Be Curious About Your Rut Instead of Judgy
Most people treat their ruts like personal failures.
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“Why am I like this?”
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“I should be better.”
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“I’m so lazy.”
Stop that. It’s boring. And untrue.
Instead, try curiosity:
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“What’s draining me lately?”
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“What do I need more of?”
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“What do I need less of?”
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“Is this rut emotional, physical, social, existential, hormonal, chaotic, astrological?”
Look, sometimes your rut has a reason:
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You’re tired.
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You’re stressed.
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You’re lonely.
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Your body is protesting.
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You’ve overloaded your schedule.
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You’re burnt out.
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You’ve been eating like a raccoon.
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Life is currently an unsupervised circus.
If you’re curious instead of critical, your rut becomes solvable.
10. Step Ten: Forgive Yourself for Being Human
You are not a robot.
You are not a productivity machine.
You are not a self-improvement project with legs.
You are a person.
And people have moods.
People get tired.
People get overwhelmed.
People go through sludge seasons.
You do not need to earn compassion.
You just need to practice it.
Your rut isn’t a verdict.
It’s a moment.
And it will pass — especially if you stop treating it like a life sentence and start treating it like a temporary detour.
11. Step Eleven: The Rut Isn’t the Problem — The Stuckness Is
You can feel bad and still move.
You can feel uncertain and still begin.
You can feel tired and still try.
You can feel off and still make progress.
You don’t need to feel good to get unstuck.
You just need to stop believing that feeling bad is an anchor you must drag forever.
It’s not.
It’s weather.
Weather passes.
12. Step Twelve: Build Your “Rut Exit Kit”
Create a mental list of things that usually help you shift gears.
Include things like:
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Taking a shower
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Cleaning a small surface
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Getting sunlight
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Drinking water
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Calling a friend
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Listening to energizing music
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Stepping outside
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Cooking something simple
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Going for a quick walk
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Doing nothing but breathing for 60 seconds
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Watching something that makes you laugh
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Doing a small task just to prove you can
This is your emergency emotional toolbox.
Use it. Abuse it. Add to it.
Let it evolve as you evolve.
13. Step Thirteen: Remember That Ruts Are Not Permanent
The biggest lie a rut tells you is:
“This is forever.”
That’s the depression talking. That’s the anxiety talking. That’s the stress talking. That’s the overwhelm talking. That’s your brain trying to predict the future based on its current mood — and the current mood is, frankly, unreliable.
The truth is:
You’ve been in ruts before.
You got out.
You’ll get out again.
You’re just temporarily disconnected from your momentum.
It always returns.
Sometimes slowly.
But always.
14. Your Rut Is Not Who You Are
You are not defined by your low seasons.
Or your lack of energy.
Or your stress.
Or your exhaustion.
Or your sadness.
Or your messiness.
Or your slump.
Your rut is a moment — not your identity.
And the moment you stop believing that you’re stuck…
you stop being stuck.
You don’t have to feel good to move forward.
You just have to move forward a tiny bit more than you did yesterday.
One step.
Any step.
Even a small one.
Your rut will loosen.
Your energy will return.
Your momentum will rebuild.
Your vibe will resurrect itself like a dramatic phoenix who took a personal day.
You are not stuck.
You are simply paused.
And you can un-pause anytime.