Let’s get this out of the way—purpose is the life equivalent of a Wi-Fi signal. You don’t really notice it until it’s gone, and once you lose it, you’ll try every ridiculous trick to get it back, including moving to a corner of your personal existence where the metaphorical signal is slightly stronger. Everyone from philosophers to your aunt who posts “Live, Laugh, Love” memes on Facebook has an opinion on purpose. And most of those opinions are wrong.
You’ve been told purpose is your “why.” Great. I also know why I eat Taco Bell at 1 a.m., but that doesn’t mean it’s a noble guiding force in my life. Let’s be clear: having a purpose is not about finding some Disney-approved destiny where woodland creatures sing at you in the morning. It’s about surviving without screaming into a pillow every day, while convincing other people you’re “thriving.”
So, to help you on this treacherous path of self-delusion (and maybe actual self-discovery, if we’re lucky), I present The 5 Cardinal Rules of Purpose—a mix of life coaching wisdom, sarcasm, and a healthy side of "don’t take yourself too seriously."
Rule #1: Stop Treating Purpose Like It’s Hiding Under the Couch
The biggest lie ever told—right after “I have read and agree to the terms and conditions”—is that your purpose is something you have to “find.” As if it’s playing hide-and-seek, wedged between your lost sock and an old Chipotle receipt.
Purpose isn’t out there, waiting for you to stumble upon it like a treasure chest. That’s a marketing trick designed to sell you retreats in Bali and $3,000 vision board workshops led by a woman named Skye. Purpose is not a scavenger hunt; it’s more like an awkward growth spurt—it develops in you over time, makes you uncomfortable, and sometimes shows up in really unattractive ways.
The truth? You don’t “find” purpose. You build it. Like Ikea furniture—except instead of a picture-perfect chair at the end, you get something uneven but still functional, and you have no idea where that extra screw came from. You make small, deliberate choices, try new things, fail in humiliating ways, and over time, you start to notice that some things light you up and others make you want to throw yourself into traffic. Guess which ones you should lean into.
But if you’re still clinging to the romantic idea that one day you’ll wake up, sip coffee, and know—I have news: that’s just indigestion.
Rule #2: Stop Outsourcing Your Purpose to Instagram Gurus
Here’s the deal: nobody on the internet knows what your purpose is. Not the guy in the motivational reel screaming into a handheld mic. Not the woman who swears she manifested her Lamborghini in three weeks. And definitely not the 22-year-old “life coach” who still calls her mom to make dentist appointments.
The second you hand over your sense of meaning to someone else, you’re basically saying, “Please, random stranger, take the wheel of my life while I nap.” Spoiler: they’ll drive you straight into a ditch, but with really good lighting for the crash.
We outsource purpose because it’s easier. It’s nice to think someone else has the secret sauce, and if we just pay them enough or click “subscribe,” we’ll be blessed with the same life-transforming clarity. But purpose is personal. It’s tailored to your quirks, your scars, your questionable taste in television. You can take inspiration from others, sure—but copying their blueprint will leave you with a counterfeit version of meaning that doesn’t fit.
Think of it like borrowing shoes. They might look great, but if they’re not your size, you’ll be limping by noon.
Rule #3: Your Purpose Will Change, and That’s Not a Sign You’re Broken
People cling to the idea that their purpose must be one, unchanging thing—like a tattoo they’ll keep forever. Newsflash: you’re not a monolithic statue. You’re a human with shifting priorities, evolving skills, and an embarrassing collection of old Facebook statuses you wish you could delete.
The purpose you had at 22 will not (and should not) be the purpose you have at 42. If your 22-year-old self is still running the show, congratulations—you’re stuck taking life advice from someone who thought ramen noodles and Four Loko were a food group.
Life throws curveballs: illness, job loss, relationships ending, new opportunities, random existential crises brought on by watching too much David Attenborough. These things change you. Pretending your purpose hasn’t shifted is like wearing the same underwear for decades. At some point, it’s going to fall apart.
The trick is not to panic when you outgrow a purpose—it’s to see it as a sign you’re evolving. Growth often feels like loss at first. That’s okay. The only real problem is staying in a purpose that no longer fits because you’re too scared to trade it for something better.
Rule #4: Purpose Without Action Is Just a Pinterest Board
You can sit around all day thinking deep thoughts about who you are and why you exist. But until you get off your butt and do something, you’re basically just writing bad poetry in the Notes app.
Purpose is lived. It’s made visible through the choices you make and the habits you build. If you claim your purpose is “helping others” but the only people you help are the ones asking you to hold their beer, we have a problem.
A lot of people confuse the feeling of having a purpose with the performance of having a purpose. They buy the books, make the vision boards, post the quotes, and then… nothing. No changes, no risks, no messy attempts. Just a pretty collection of intentions that never see daylight.
Here’s the thing: real purpose is inconvenient. It will require you to give up comfort, take risks, and sometimes look ridiculous. If it doesn’t, it’s probably just a hobby dressed up in a purpose costume.
And yes, that means you might fail. But you’ll fail in the right direction. Which is way better than succeeding at things you secretly hate.
Rule #5: You Don’t Owe the World a Grand, Noble Purpose
There’s a lot of pressure to have a purpose that’s big, bold, and Instagram-worthy. People expect you to have a life mission that sounds like a TED Talk title: “How I Saved the World While Practicing Mindfulness in the Shower.”
But your purpose doesn’t have to be epic to be real. You don’t need to solve climate change, end hunger, or create a revolutionary app that sends therapy dogs to your doorstep. Your purpose can be smaller, quieter—something that matters deeply to you, even if it wouldn’t impress strangers.
Maybe your purpose is raising decent kids, creating art that makes people smile, or building a life where you’re not constantly anxious about Mondays. Those are legitimate. They matter. And they’re often harder to commit to than flashy, public purposes because no one’s applauding in the background.
The world needs small purposes just as much as big ones. In fact, small, steady purposes are usually the ones holding the rest of us together while the big ones make headlines.
The Final Word (Because You’re Not Getting a Participation Trophy for Reading This)
The five rules are simple:
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Stop looking under the couch.
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Stop outsourcing to wannabe prophets.
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Let your purpose evolve.
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Do something about it.
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Don’t make it bigger than it needs to be.
The truth is, purpose is both overrated and essential—overrated in the way it’s marketed, essential in the way it quietly shapes your daily life. You don’t have to chase it like a dog after a tennis ball. You just have to notice what matters, nurture it, and let it guide you even when you’re tired, broke, or questioning your life choices at 3 a.m.
And if all else fails, remember this: your purpose is not a fixed GPS coordinate. It’s a constantly updating map, and you’re the one holding the pen. So quit waiting for someone else to draw the route.
Now, go do something with that.