Ah, love. That mystical, elusive, utterly over-marketed concept shoved down our throats by every rom-com, wedding registry, and Instagram couple kissing in Santorini. Society tells you to “find your soulmate,” like it’s as simple as ordering a latte—only to find that dating apps have turned this hunt into a glorified clearance rack of mismatched socks. But hey, you’re still swiping, still hoping, still convincing yourself that “he’s just busy” instead of accepting that Chad isn’t texting back because he’s playing Xbox and ignoring you on purpose.
Before you start spiraling into another situationship that makes you question your life choices, it’s time to step back and ask the million-dollar question: Why the hell are you even dating? Seriously—what’s your dating why? Because, newsflash, not everyone is chasing love for the same reason. Some do it for companionship, some for status, and others because they’re bored out of their skulls and need validation like oxygen.
Ready to dive in? Grab a drink. We’re about to unpack the six key motivations for seeking love, and spoiler alert: at least one of these will expose you.
1. The “I Don’t Want to Die Alone” Motivation
Let’s start with the one nobody admits out loud. You know, the lurking fear that one day you’ll choke on a microwave burrito and your cat will eat your face before anyone even notices you’re missing. The “I don’t want to die alone” crowd swipes with a sense of urgency that could rival a Black Friday sale. Their dating profiles scream, “Looking for something serious”, while their eyes say, “Please love me before my hairline fully retreats.”
This isn’t necessarily bad—companionship is a legitimate need. Humans are social creatures, and we crave connection. But if your primary dating why is just to avoid loneliness, you risk settling for anyone with a pulse who texts back occasionally. That’s not love; that’s desperation wearing cologne.
Snarky Truth Bomb:
If your biggest fear is dying alone, maybe focus on living well first. The right person isn’t going to save you from your own existential dread—therapy might.
2. The “I Want to Prove I’m Lovable” Motivation
Ah yes, the validation seekers. They date like it’s an Olympic sport—collecting matches, going on dates, and fishing for compliments to soothe their insecurities. These are the people who need to be in a relationship not because they actually like their partner, but because the relationship itself is their emotional Band-Aid.
Their Instagram captions read, “Lucky to call him mine”, but deep down, they’re screaming, “See world? Someone chose me! I have worth now!” Spoiler: if your self-esteem hinges on whether someone texts “good morning,” you’re not looking for love—you’re hunting for external approval.
Snarky Truth Bomb:
Newsflash, Cinderella: being in a relationship doesn’t make you inherently lovable. If you can’t feel whole without someone else’s validation, you’ll keep picking frogs and calling them princes.
3. The “I Want a Power Couple Aesthetic” Motivation
Let’s be real—love is nice, but for some people, it’s more about branding. Enter the Power Couple Aesthetic chasers. These are the folks who treat relationships like PR campaigns. They want the matching outfits, the joint fitness routines, the “couple that hustles together” TikToks. Love is secondary to the image.
You’ll see them at brunch, taking 500 photos before eating, because what’s the point of a relationship if you can’t monetize it on Instagram? Their dating why? They want a partner who looks good in photos, doubles as a networking opportunity, and makes their exes seethe with jealousy.
Snarky Truth Bomb:
If your relationship is more curated than your Pinterest board, congratulations—you’re not dating a person. You’re dating a brand strategy.
4. The “I Need Someone to Fix Me” Motivation
Oh boy. This one’s messy. Some people date not out of love, but out of a desperate hope that someone else will swoop in and heal all their emotional wounds. They’re drawn to “fixers” like moths to a flame, unloading their trauma like it’s a first-date fun fact.
They romanticize the idea of being “saved,” but spoiler alert: dumping your unresolved childhood issues on a romantic partner isn’t love—it’s emotional hostage-taking. Relationships can be supportive, sure, but they’re not therapy.
Snarky Truth Bomb:
You can’t expect someone to glue together the pieces you refuse to pick up yourself. Heal your own crap before making it someone else’s full-time job.
5. The “I Want the Fairytale” Motivation
Cue the Disney soundtrack, because this group is chasing the “happily ever after” like it’s a limited edition. They’re hopeless romantics who believe love should be effortless, magical, and filled with spontaneous rain-kissing moments. When reality hits—like arguments over dirty dishes or discovering their partner’s snoring—they crumble faster than a stale cookie.
These folks often fall hard and fast, confusing infatuation for love. They thrive on the butterflies, but when the honeymoon phase dies, so does their interest. Their dating why isn’t about building something real; it’s about chasing the high of new love like a relationship junkie.
Snarky Truth Bomb:
Real love isn’t a fairytale. It’s messy, imperfect, and involves actual work. If you’re allergic to effort, stick to rom-coms.
6. The “I Actually Want a Partner in Crime” Motivation
Finally, the healthiest why—wanting a real partner in crime. This motivation isn’t about fear, image, or emotional rescue missions. It’s about genuinely wanting to share your life with someone who complements you, not completes you. These people date with intention, not desperation. They know their worth, set boundaries, and aren’t afraid to walk away from nonsense.
Their relationships may not be Instagram-perfect, but they’re solid. They’re the ones laughing at inside jokes in the grocery store, weathering tough times as a team, and finding joy in the little things.
Snarky Truth Bomb:
If this is your dating why, congrats—you might actually find love that lasts longer than a carton of oat milk.
So, What’s YOUR Dating Why?
Now that we’ve roasted every motivation under the sun, it’s time to ask yourself: Why are you dating? Be brutally honest. If your why is rooted in fear, insecurity, or a need for external validation, that’s not love—that’s self-sabotage with lipstick.
Knowing your why helps you stop wasting time on mismatched partners and toxic cycles. It forces you to grow, to choose better, and to approach love with a clear head instead of a messy heart.
Final Snark: Stop Playing Hide and Seek With Yourself
Here’s the tea—finding love starts with finding yourself. If you don’t know why you’re dating, you’ll end up on endless bad dates wondering why everyone sucks. (Spoiler: it might be you.) Figure out your why, own it, and watch how your dating life transforms from chaos to clarity.
Because love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about being the right person. And if you can do that? You might just dodge the dating disasters and find something real—no app filters required.
💌 Now go forth, swipe smarter, and remember: if your dating why is “because everyone else is doing it,” maybe stay single until you can come up with a better reason.